redifff zindabad

HA HA HA HA>>>> LOLZ and LOZ and even more LOLZ

Was waiting for moderator to approve the image for my islant… And they pestered me, piqued my curiosity Had a nice laugh at this late hour… REDIFF Zindabad all thanks to this amazing piece of Terms and Conditions. All comments in red are mine and mine alone :)

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In the interest of all Rediff iLand members the photos/ images uploaded by you are subject to moderator's approval before they are made public.

Photos/ Images… Dear Legal Eagle( Hereafter LE) please also mention the file format

Puhleaseeeeeeeeee puhleaseeeee

We hope you will co-operate with us and be patient with the inevitable time gap between the uploading and the visibility of photos images on the site.

Dear LE ‘visibility of the photo images’… hi hi I wish u could see the smirk on my face..:)

Posting any content (text, audio, video, images, photos, etc.) amounts to publishing and such content that is

1. unlawful,
as per dictionary.com
(–adjective
not lawful; contrary to law; illegal.
born out of wedlock; illegitimate.) I LIKE THIS ONE
2. illegal, ( YAHA PAR BHI LE)
3. pornographic, ( please allow itsy bitsy please…I have my mummy ji permission)
4. prohibited, ( by whom dear…military junta of Myanmar)
5. derogatory, ( am I allowed to call u intelligent heee hee )
6. libelous, (if I call you Intelligent will it be libelous…I sure its scandalous)
7. indecent, (Dear LE will Never do that ‘GOD PROMISE…PAKKA PROMISE’)
8. defamatory ( I am sure calling us Legal Eagle is surely not Defamatorily [it just rhymed] )

and which is in violation of intellectual property rights including trademarks and copyrights may attract liability including civil and criminal penalties, injunctive redress or imprisonment

under relevant Indian ( Dear LE is ‘relevant Indian Law’ is looking OXYMORONIC [added IC] aur waise bhi Tahreek par tahreek…. Dates and Dates… ohhh LE will I be DOWN {naaa I am guy ….gotcha you}

or International laws.

(Dear LE will INTERPOL come after me…how SEXCITING oooops that S was needless)

Rediff.com reserves the right to deny service to you including the right to remove/block the contents ( contents?????)posted/uploaded by you, in the event content violates these guidelines

Enuf for naw….. KYo KI tajee ratey Hind dafa 302/212 a,b,c and 420 key tahat...

…………………….

British woman gets 20 years for "honour killing"

I read the news ...
the news did not move me .... i was not violated ?????

i said Hmmmm.... moved on to the next news item

Have become i become immune CLEARSALISED - i.e 'I Dont Care'

click here to read the entire story .

to give u a better perspective....

look at the protagonists of the 'NEWS STORY'



Surjit-wife
Was murdered, brutally slaughtered ...strangulated














Sukhdev -Husband - A relic
Has Serious Manhood issue ... Mate your women does not love you ....
Got that...let her go dude...





Bachan -
Mother -in(-carcerated by )-law
scheming old B#$. she is too old to be cursed i know




nothing more to write.....

Please do read...

click here to read the entire story .No not a story a tragedy- simple life snuffed out in the name of Honor.

Lord of the Curves

London:
Men may lust after the woman with the perfect body, but most would be too nervous to drop their clothes in front of her, a new poll has found...

Click Here to read the article

I agree but with an Errata.. I am never too nervous to drop my clothes ...NEVER :)

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Ranting time...

To me , there is nothing more beautiful than a women with ample curves and come on why not ? i may be a visualiser by profession but at times you need some thing tangible - 'a bit of meat' ( no offense to the ladies)

I look at a women- Chemical reactions fueled by million years of evolution forces me yea FORCES me to evaluate the two 'B's' (bigger the better) and mind you it's all Instinct :( but after 10 secs sanity prevails and I start look ing for the third B ( yea i mean brain) . I have tried to curtail this instinct but who am i to contradict Darwin and evolution

found two more articles

• Men lust for hourglass curves, say researchers
• Secret of attraction? It's all due to the wiggle

So all in all Curves Rule .

So Kate Moss types never attracted me and it’s natural cos like all men I am at a very primal level attracted towards women with rounded hips, which is a sign of their ability to carry and nurture their offspring. So long live Voluptuous Ladies…

Mattel products banned in Brazil

Thank lord for small mercies…

No friends no its not the MNC bashing time so have not done the following

1. Million Incantations of OM KRAM KRI KRO KARL MARXUM NAMA to invoke all Marxist/ Socialist Spirits
2. not wearing a Khadi Kurta
3. have not gathered all the ciggie butts to smoke em again
4. no cheap whiskey
5. no torn khadi bag

I HATE the CAPITALIST THUGS from matel for brain washing entire generation of sweet little lucy, kartina, seta gita, mary, gurcharan….(u should see my angry face now). They are running a perfect racket(will delve into it later). And that’s not all, now they are poisoning are kids….. (This time I am really angry).

No I will not talk how MNC’s have been exploiting third world countries or abt the pathetic conditions in the sweat shops or poor work hygiene and lousy quality control

I will rant abt some thing personal… my own experience with BARBIE ..

so here we go

Barbie is every schizophreniacs delight… you have GI Barbie, Nurse Barbie, Saree Barbie it bloody goes on and on and to top it all she an extended family(grrrrrrrrr) and friends that will give any karan-johar-one- big-happy- family-and-hangerons an inferiority complex.

No!!! My niece does not want only but she wants her boyfriend too …

“hey Uncle my Barbie has a fight with her BF she wants to talk to her friend”
(here goes another 400 bucks)

Uncle my Barbie wants to go on a PICNIC
(here goes another 1000 bucks)

My Best Friend is single and lonely she really likes this Guy
(here goes another 800 bucks)

Uncle she wants a doggie

Uncle she wants…………………

I got so paranoid that I had to see a therapist (another 20 k)

MY RANTINGS

DOWN WITH MATTEL, DOWN WITH CHILD Killers...

On a very serious note Mattel screwed up big time... its the hieght of corporate negligence and should not be let of the hook...(gosh am i dreaming ,yea i am cos it wont happen)

The Cosmic Philosopher

Pain and love has over the centuries contributed 80% of the literature (if want apple pie on your face, please DO quote me) and as I am perpetually in love and with onset on this severe pain (nothing terminal-just a tooth ache) it becomes my moral obligation to dish out some inane crap.

Pain was never my forte and my love is BHESON MEETHA(sweet) and too personal to discuss here. But then have to CRAP so will crap about love albeit a different kind – John Lenon-ish kinds the Universal Kinds and as I am not too much into soul-searching and redemption bit so will talk abt one Comic Characters THE COSMIC PHILOSHPER – The Silver Surfer.

Bit About Him

Created by Jack Kirby ,it was Stan Lee who gave Silver Surfer(Norrin Radd) his NOBILTY.

• Born is planet of Zen Lah
  
• Madly in love with Shala ba and later mantis and briefly with NOVA(another herald of Galactus)
• Galactus gave him 'Power Cosmic' and Surfboard that can travel at phenomenal speeds and is telepahically linked to the Surfer
• Mephisto-the lord of underworld ,thanos ,elder etc are his arch enemines

Why do I like him….

Cos he is like a typical character out Shakespearean Drama- He talks to himself! Most of his soliloquies (mind you they are the very best) are about love and longing, about men and mankind, and about freedom. And yea he is from city of nawabs - lucknow for he is forever speaking in the third person. See for yourself

“IN EVERY PART OF THE GLOBE IT THE SAME!

HATRED, FEAR AND UNREASONING HOSTILITY HAVE POSSED THE MENS HEARTS!

BUT SILVER SURFER WILL BE NO PART OF IT”

Yea he is true blue tragic Shakespearean hero with all the trapping – Angst, anger, righteousness, longing desire, lost love, misunderstood, and on the path of redemption.

Phantom: Chalta Phirta Betaal

Phantom -My hero....
I literally grew up with him loved him and there were others like Garth, Rip Kirby,Tom Sawyer , mandrake along with first afro-hero lothar, king of seven tribes, and not to forget the adventures of the First Indian Hero Bahadur and his lovely friend bela... I would like to call my self GEN -I i-e generation Indrajal :).

Living on third floor... Once in every 15 days (later wekely) along with our TOI , Dharamayug, Sapthaik Hindustan it came(bundled in black rubber band)...my Indrajal. AAAAAHHHH... and wait was worth it if only if it was Phantom.

But enuf of inane emotional ramblings...


Why is phantom so amazing

1. He was never bitten by some spider ... or exposed to gama radiation like hulk or cosmic radiation like fantastic four or is a mutant like X-men... he is so like us ...he is so human so like batman but sans his angst or anger or even hate... He is a regular guy
   
2. Incidentally he is the first hero to wear leotard that to with undies over them & above all the striped ones and carry them with elan and poise(am i sounding like simi gerewal)
   
3. he is one hero that was and is most socially relevant ... he fought against piracy, slave trade and talked agaisnt despotism and clan/ tribal warfare in africa...man he was/is NELSON MANDELA with .45. ALL THE RIGHT CAUSES... even his wife worked for UN. The first hero with a conscience (others would be green arrow and silver surfer...but HECK they dont count )

there are dozen reason more... but what makes him special is he is true to what the first phantom swore..

"I swear to devote my life to the destruction of piracy, greed, cruelty, and injustice, in all their forms! My sons and their sons, shall follow me"

Some basic Facts abt Phantom. all random and no googling ;) . Will not dilute my memories...

1. Created by lee falk
2. known as ghost who walks
3. Lives in a skull cave
4. Has a horse - Hero , dog (not exactly- a wolf)-devil, hawk-farraka, elephant-jumbo, prehistoric man and a dianasour in small seclude island called EDEN...dont even try to approach it... it is filled with Pirahana and not to forget SOLOMON and NEFRETTITI (wont tell you who they are :) )
5. carries .45 ( and gosh he know how to use em)
   
6. Best friend guran
7. Also known as kit walker
8. Married to diana palmer(mandrake attended his marriage so did president luaga)
9. HasTwins Kit (all first male born are names as such) and heloise (the hanta witch one of previous phantoms wife)

so much more trivia is stored... but u need to look at few panels to understand... more abt phantom



The warning sign of phantom... the skull


The good samaritan... bringing up an orphan rex


Figting against toxic dumping in the 3rd world countries ruled by milatery Junta...(phantom was alway Current)

This panel is a corner stone of phantom mythos...my tribute to lee falk

Idea Killer

Read this lovely article that talked about how to kill an idea effectively.
And like so many of my ilk have faced it so often … but always had this Déjà vu that this has happened before but could never actually segment it but now is the time to put words and expression to it

………………………..
(No Response, Radio Silence… Cold Storage)

“Hmmm ok…”
(Luke warm praise…)

Not bad….
(My sister husbands cousins brother law is Piyush Pandey… me am a frigging expert)

"haaa haa he hee haha…"
(Gosh you are funny .,. bit of smirk and bit of smile will take u far in your chosen profession of an Idea Killer)

"OHHH this is what it mean…"
(My sister husbands cousins brother law was Einstein lemme analyze it. I think the customer mindset and the TA will feel….blah blah…)

"Ohhh they used it ..."
( Ohh this idea was used in Uganda in 1969 and I think it did not work… in fact it bombed !!! Way to go idea killer)

"Ahhh I think that MY approach will work…"
(ME KNOW IT ALL….)

"AHHH I think if Instead of Black we Use Read…. Oh Dress should be more classical less retro…"
(Change, adapt, cannibalize and dilute the idea…)

"You Moron your Wife is having an affair… with Rajnikant of accounts and you think you have an idea…"
(Frontal attack also works but have to use it sparingly and selectively)

"I think we should Discuss this in conference room ookkk... leeme call Mr X from account, Ms Y from front desk Mr Z from Pantry..."
(this is a master stroke… )

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

gosh yesterday i reliased that i have more beer in my body then blood and also realised that the only way to avoid the bitter taste of this divine drink...is to keep on drinking it ;).

Did bit of reading and what i discovered was few amazing tit bits

Beer is one of the oldest beverages, possibly dating back to the 5th millennium BC

( Egyptian wooden model of beer making in ancient Egypt,
Rosecrucian Egyptian Museum, San Jose, California.)

and it was egyptians who first concoted it.... now i know why i always had this deep desire to visit egypt.:)

and yea one fact that really HIT me was me was the heath benifits...

1. Drinking beer has been associated with a decreased risk of cardiac disease, stroke and cognitive decline (removed the word moderate :) )
2. A 2005 Japanese study found that low alchol beer may possess strong anti-cancer properties
3. It is considered that overeating and lack of muscle tone is the main cause of a beer belly, rather than beer consumption

Most facts in fact all... have been taken from wiki ....all error etc is thier responsibilty...


for all the beer lovers found something.....

THE BEER PRAYER

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen.

cheers....

He was a bold man who first swallowed an oyster

I always had this penchant to order food which no one woud eat or would want to possibly eat...but then who said i was connosuier of fine dining.. Not me never... how could i possibily eat entrails of creature...yuck yuck.... till my next experiment (snake i heard... they taste like chicken)

just a thought

gosh i had goose bumps after reading the article
and this is visual representaion of my revulsion...my thoughts...mostly profane at times profound ...your call :)


please read the the article
http://www.rediff.com/news/2001/oct/24spec.htm

ramayana reloaded

kinda of Conan the barbarian...

kali

some how i like Ramayana reloaded...the treatment amazing